I met him through Match, his big smile in the picture was so welcoming. He stressed his strong values and Catholic upbringing. He wanted to spend more time cycling, so we met for the first time before sunrise to do a century ride through Napa.

He was a super nice, accommodating, encouraging, and much more fit than I am.  After the first five miles he zoomed ahead, did 60 miles and called it a day.

He’d been divorced for a few years because of “that infidelity thing” that ultimately didn’t work out. It  brought an end to his marriage and damaged his relationship with his two beautiful children.

He loves to swim and surf, and is long, lean and blond.  Most women would classify him as attractive, but I couldn’t shake the feeling he looked like a snake.  I believe George Orwell was correct when he said “that by 50 people have the faces they deserve”. The sun has been harsh on his skin, requiring several cancer removals and skin grafts. His hair is thinning around hair plugs that must have been put in years ago.  He seems to slither when he moves which I’m not sure is sexy or scary. I occasionally see him around town sliding in or out of restaurants.

Since we met in 2008 we see each other a couple of times a year, as friends because I’m not his type. He has a very specific list of who he wants to “connect with”. Blond, stunning, in the real estate business, thin, athletic, beach lover and some more things that I’ve forgotten. No mention of qualities like honesty, faith, compassion. I appreciated his honesty that I didn’t meet his qualifications, but that didn’t keep him from trying to get me to bed.

One night at dinner, his cell phone kept beeping with text messages, I asked if I could look. He said yes and headed to the bathroom. I’m a very fast reader, and oh what an education I got in the tease of sexting. I don’t do it as I don’t want a record of my sexual conversations, but I may be in the minority on this use of technology.

He kept a running dialogue of sex messages with at least a dozen women who appeared to be looking for a deeper relationship. He was very open with me, sharing their pictures and stories. Most were tiny, busy, lonely single moms. None were the blond model type he was looking for. He must spend several hours a day texting to keep the sparks alive.

And then the snake look thing clicked for me.

His dating behavior was like a water snake that dwells in shallow waters with their mouths open waiting for any prey to come close by – within a few inches – so they can simply close their jaws around their prey.

He is a single guy, free to do what he wants, and certainly has plenty of options.  But I’m glad that I will never be his prey.

Sometimes ladies, what you see in a man’s face, is exactly what you get.